So I decided to update my testimony. I have no idea what I am going to write, just gonna start typing and let the Lord lead me.

Praise the Lord for all of the things in my life that he has brought me through. I can honestly say that without Him in my life I wouldn't be who I am, much less where I am, today. You see, I never really believed that I was going to be alive to tell my story. I just figured that I would die before too long and that would be it. So trying to figure out where I should be at my age is hard because I never really had to think about it, I just always made something up. But, here I am, 30 years of age, and I know that His loving hands will guide me where I am supposed to be.

As a little girl, when things in my house would get out of control, I would lose myself in a dream world. That makes it pretty tough to try and remember why I was so screwed up. But, that world kept me from having to deal with things that I just didn't want to deal with. Things that I couldn't deal with, at least until the time was right. Through it all, Jesus was there. He stood by me when no one else would. I have survived physical, mental, verbal, and sexual abuse. All at the hands of someone that loved me. Someone that was supposed to protect me. Still, some of the memories are not quite clear because my mind blocked them out.

As a young adult, I would fluctuate between using food as a crutch and not eating at all. My highest weight was 325 pounds. Now some of you may be thinking AND. To me that is part of my testimony. I would hide in corners to avoid having to talk to anyone. I love meeting new people, but I have been so afraid that they would make fun of me. Or worse, that they wouldn't like me because of my weight, that I just didn't venture out. Making some think I was not friendly. In reality, I just love making new friends. I just didn't have to courage to step out and make that connection. I am slowly coming out of my shell and meeting those new people that I have longed to talk to before. Old habits may be hard to break, but when you walk hand in hand with the Savior, nothing seems so bad. By the way, I have lost over 100 pounds. Something that couldn't have done alone. TRUST ME. I needed someone to make me go walk most days.

I married when I was 19, which may not seem so young, but I was very immature. I didn't know anything, just here is this man & he says he loves me. Our marriage has certainly had its share of ups & downs. But God hasn't let us down. We just turn to Him & pray that things will work out. Had I stayed on the path drifting, I am sure that I wouldn't have a marriage today. Believe it or not we are stronger & more in love today than we have ever been in the past 11 years.

 I am a member of Voices For God.  I have always loved to sing. That was just something that I couldn't do because I was told so many times to be quiet and quit 'killing the cat.' So no matter how bad I wanted to sing, I just couldn't. I still get a little chicken without the other ladies.

In 2005 I was inspired to learn ASL-American Sign Language. I watched a woman sign 'You Raise Me Up'  and knew that I just had to do that. I also suddenly was reminded that I had always been interested in learning to sign. I just never had the opportunity. God allowed me to take some classes and now I am loving this new area in the ministry. We have also been doing some inspirational dance.

Through it all Christ has been my steady hand. Loving me, leading me, & keeping me, day in and day out. Just where would I be without His guidance? I am glad not to know!!

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Update!! On Christmas Eve 2007, we found out that after over 10 years of trying to have a baby God has given us a miracle. Our little blessing will be here in early August!! God Still Answers Prayer!! So whereever you are & whatever you are going through, DON'T GIVE UP!! Just pray for His guidance & "In Due Time" your prayers will be answered.

'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart' Psalm 37:4