Freedom? Freedom! No one likes being
a slave to anything or anyone. Yet in our daily lives that is how we live. Slaves to our past, our addictions, loneliness,
and everyday life.
My past has been filled with abuse,
grief, shame, fear, death, low self-esteem, self-condemnation, loneliness, and fear. I worked hard to keep people at a distance.
Walls surrounded me on every side because of my fear. Yet at the same time, I thought I was okay and used my own solutions
to solve my problems. Solutions like isolation and physically hurting myself that only led me deeper into darkness.
In November of 1990, I lost my husband
of 7 years to a massive heart attack. I was only 25 years old and he was 26 years old. I was left alone with 2 daughters,
ages 7 and 4 months. I thought my life was over. I wondered how I would survive and how I would provide without my husband.
The days ran together and I once again used my own way to survive. I carried that grief and loss for 10 years.
Then in August of 1996, I surrendered
my life to Jesus. Now I have discovered my giftedness and the desires in my heart. Dreams and desires that I did not know
were there until I began the healing road to beautiful freedom. Dreams and desires that were placed there by God before I
was even born. The road has been hard but He has been with me every step of the way. He has shown me how He has brought me
through my terror in the night for a moment like this.
In May of 2004, I recorded my first
CD, called ‘Setting Sail.’ It was a dream come true. As a little girl, I remember singing into my curling iron
to my dolls as an escape from my pain. It made me feel good about me and I sang each Carpenters song with such feeling. That
little girl was so afraid and felt so shameful and unworthy. I cry as I think of all the love and truth that was lavished
on her as each memory was healed by Christ. Now Jesus and the woman of today have set that young girl free.
I praise Jesus for bringing His ministry
of healing into my life. The process of mind renewal has helped me to see that my thoughts (lie-based thinking), were keeping
me from living the life He had for me. I always felt unworthy of love or thought that love came with conditions, but my Savior’s
unconditional love has amazed me. Now I can smile and truly be free.
I pray that you will open your life
to Jesus and allow Him to heal your deepest hurts so that you too can run through green pasture. It is time to experience
the beauty and simplicity of our Savior. This world wants to inform you but Jesus wants to transform you.